Stripper tips in general:
1. Don't waste all your ones on the first dancer. Share the wealth, pace yourself.
2. Don't waste your twenties on the first offer of a lapdance. When you see one later that gives you a chub so fat you get lightheaded, you'll wish you still had that money.
3. It's impolite to tell one her ass looks like chewed bubble gum. You're no prize yourself.
4. Sometimes they aren't flirting just for tips. Don't miss an opportunity by being a dipshit.
5. In reference to #4, wear a condom. Over your entire body like a chemical warfare suit. For the next guy's sake. I'm sure you have something the rest of us don't want.
6. Don't tell the older dancer she reminds you of your mom. It's not a compliment, dumbass. Besides your mom had more stretch marks. On her mouth.
7. Don't nut in your pants during the lap dance. In reference to #4 and #5, you will have already "blown" it.
8. In reference to #4 and #5, if it costs you money, she doesn't really like you. If you tell your friends that in spite of paying for sex, you won't hear the end of it until they're old enough to be in the alzheimer's wing.
9. If you recognize her from somewhere else, be courteous enough not to mention it.
10. Tip heavily. There's no award for being a tightwad.
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