Ripped from a blog www.forgingelitesarcasm.com



Perils of Talking to Non-CrossFitters

Posted on August 12, 2011 by Drywall


Face it. We’re like this, but in tackier clothing.
CrossFitters love talking about CrossFit. All the fucking time. Arguably more than they like doing CrossFit. Problem is, not everyone CrossFits, so you got all these non-CrossFitt’in motherfuckers ruining your perfectly good endorphin buzz.
The result? Disaster. Every goddamn time.
Loosely Based on a Somewhat True Story
Co-worker on a Friday Afternoon
Next Cube Over: Dude, let’s hit happy hour and get fucking shit-faced.
Drywall: Eh, I got something to do after work. Meet up later?
Next Cube Over: Bullshit. You already said you didn’t have any plans for the weekend. You’re going to CrossFit before you go out, aren’t you?
Drywall: Well, yeah…
Next Cube Over: Dork.
That went well.

Waitress at the Bar
Carla Tortelli: You guys on a softball team? We sponsor people for leagues.
Drywall: No, we just came from CrossFit.
Carla Tortelli: What is that? Never heard of it.
Drywall: Well, we just work out together.
Carla Tortelli: Ha, you’re funny. But seriously, what do you guys do?
I decided to pass on the broad time and modal domain explanation.
Phone Call from Mom
Mom: Hey, what are you up to?
Drywall: Not much, just got home from CrossFit…
Mom: Oh you’re still working out! That’s great. Does this help you get ready for sports?
Drywall: Well, I really don’t play sports anymore since I started CrossFit. But they have their own competitions, so I guess that’s something…
Mom: Oh really? I’d loooove to come and watch sometime!
Goddamn it.
Drinking Buddy at the Bar
Drank’in Bro: Dude this drank’in thing is awesome but I’m getting fat as shit. I gotta lose a few pounds.
Drywall: Want to try out CrossFit?
Drank’in Bro: Is that like working out?
Drywall: Yeah.
Drank’in Bro: Fuck you.
Could have gone worse.
NFL Friend
Legit Athlete: Heard you were in LA, what were you doing out there?
Drywall: You know my blog I was telling you about? I was doing some shit for the CrossFit Games.
Legit Athlete: Wait that’s a real thing? I thought you were just making shit up. People actually go watch other people work out?
Drywall: Yeah.
Legit Athlete: You went?
Drywall: Yeah.
Legit Athlete: You get paid a lot?
Drywall: No.
Legit Athlete: Douche.
Lesson learned: if you do CrossFit, just shut the fuck up. No one cares.
“Sadly, I have nothing else to talk about anymore… *sob*”
-Drywall