I believe I would have just given him a warning ticket.

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Game Wardens with Texas Parks and Wildlife arrested Ethan McNeely, a 39 year old Oregon transplant, yesterday after discovering him crouched in the woods below the dam at Lake Tawakoni attempting to hunt squirrels with nothing but his bare hands and teeth.

McNeely, who insists he’s “a primal predator, not a sportsman,” argued with officers that his “God-given claws and fangs” exempt him from needing a hunting license. “If I catch it with my molars, that’s between me and Mother Nature,” he reportedly told wardens while spitting out a mouthful of bark.

Authorities were not convinced. TPWD officials say that while McNeely’s hunting technique is unique, state law doesn’t make exceptions for “wannabe cavemen.” He was booked on charges of hunting without a license and disorderly conduct after growling at the officers.

McNeely maintains he’s being persecuted. “They can cage me,” he said, “but they’ll never cage my inner wolf!”


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