Top 10 Most Ridiculous Deaths of 2011

2011 was full of spectacular deaths ranging from elite terrorists like Osama bin Laden, to criminals of crimes against humanity like Kim Jong-Il, to sad losses like Smoking Joe Frazier. Then you have the ones that just leave us scratching our heads, like a woman who worked herself to death or a guy man who died trying to exterminate 60,000 bees.

1 ▬ Exotic Animal Owner Found Dead, Chained to Bed



Sam Mazzola made headlines this year when, after his death, his personal zoo of exotic animals (including, but not limited to, 1 lion, and 4 tigers and 4 bears... must...resist...urge...) broke free and terrorized the good people of Ohio. Seeing the animals put down by local police caused activist and internet outrage, as well as provided us with some of the saddest pictures of the year. The animals were just actually out exploring, but literal lions, tigers and bears roaming through streets would cause the kind of panic and potential death that you could usually only find in the fun-filled action-packed 1995 thrillride Jumanji.

Aside from all that... What's more interesting than a man who keeps a pack of 20 wolves for pets? A man who keeps a pack of 20 wolves for pets, and then dies of autoerotic asphyxiation.

Mazzola was found chained, face down in his bedroom with a mask on and an object in his mouth. Sadly, the object got lodged down his throat and obstructed his ability to breathe, leading to his demise. No one was with him, so it is unknown if he had a partner participating in these antics, or if it was all his own. Locks, keys and other bondage-related objects were also found about him. Click here for full story.

2 ▬ Motorcyclist Dies Due to Head Trauma in Anti-Helmet Law Ride

Winning the most ironic death of the year is Philip A. Contos, a 55-year-old who had been an active motorcyclist for over 30 years.

Every year since 2000, American Bikers Aimed Towards Education (ABATE) hold their 30 mile ride from Syracuse to Lake Como in New York, to raise awareness against helmet safety laws in America. Although the group supports helmet wearing, they believe it should be every rider's decision, ultimately, and not a matter of the state. This year, Philip A. Contos joined the ride, riding a 1983 Harley Davidson without a helmet.

As the group made it through Onondaga, Contos lost control of the bike, causing it to fishtail and him to go over the handlebars. Contos suffered a blow to the head, which killed him instantly. None of the other riders were involved in the accident, and investigators strongly believe that if he had worn a helmet, he'd still be alive. Click here for full story.

3 ▬ Woman Dies of Allergic Reaction to Having Sex with a Dog

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFTpXbbXlIo[/ame]

One day, a woman decided to join a beastiality chatroom, like ya do, and in doing so met a German man with a German Shepherd dog, who were both very enthusiastic about having sex with the 43 year-old mother of three.

So, you know, if you're looking to join a beastiality community, that's what you want. Mission accomplished.

After they met up the faithful, obedient, enthusiastic dog ejaculated in her, like people do during apparently all kinds of sex. This particular part of the act, though, didn't sit too well with the lady's immune system because as it turns out, she was allergic to the dog semen. Who knew? It's not like they test for that.

Kind of a crappy way to find out you're allergic to dog semen, though. That's like going on a Cheese-of-the-Month weekend retreat with a group of friends and then finding out you're lactose intolerant.

Anyway, the semen killed her after she went into anaphylactic shock. And that's all there really is to say about that story. Click here for complete story

4 ▬ Man Dies While Trying to Sexually Assault an Elderly Woman



Much like most normal people do on a Thursday, Isabel Chavelo Gutierrez rode two miles on his bicycle to get to the house of a 77 year-old woman he was planning to rape. He got there, and while he was raping this woman, he said "I don't feel very well", and then dropped dead, mid-rape.

While this is never a laughing matter, and is a horrible, horrible occurrence (the rape part), this story is kind of funny, or at the very least incredibly absurd, for a few reasons.

1. The man rode his bike. Who the hell rides a bike to a crime? Who the hell rides a bike to a rape? Don't you assume that you're going to be making a fast getaway? Even if you're gonna kill her, at least have the common sense to know you're probably not going to take the "pretty, scenic route" back home. "I think I'll enjoy a nice ride back from my rape. I will have earned it." You're not going to be riding back home, then all of a sudden hit an unexpected, yet pleasant downhill and take your feet off the pedals and just enjoy life on your way back from a rape. I mean, at least take public transportation.

2. He tried to do it at knifepoint. KNIFEPOINT. if you're going to commit such a hateful act, at least have the common decency to use a car and a gun.

3. His last words were "I'm not feeling well". I'M NOT FEELING WELL. That's probably the most polite, proper way to alert someone of your state of well-being, if you're about to die. I don't imagine this guy is terribly intelligent, successful or even well-read. But the concept of him being this polite while committing pretty much one of the worst things you can ever do is just absurd. What did he expect, her to turn around and say "Oh, that's too bad, would you like some tea? Maybe a hot, damp towel?"

This just sits weird with me.

This whole story is absolutely insane. And definitely a deserved, yet interesting and overall pretty intense way to go for this sexually-predatory jerk. Click here for complete story

5 ▬ Man Dies After Swallowing Brother's Butt Crack

South Carolinian brothers Deangelo, 23, and Wayne Mitchell, 20, were both taken into police custody after allegations of drug possession. Deangelo, who had hidden one ounce of cocaine up his rectum, convinced his brother to swallow the drugs and hide the evidence.

The video in the squad car shows Deangelo urging his brother to eat it. "You ain't got no strike; I can get you out. I can't afford another strike." After seemingly handing off the cocaine, he adds a few more encouraging words, "You the only one that don't have no strikes. You my li'l brother, I'm gonna get life."

Wayne died an hour after in the squad car on the way to the hospital, where doctors were unable to revive him. Once the lab results returned proving it was the toxicity levels of cocaine that killed him, Deangelo was charged with involuntary manslaughter

In the future, everyone must remember to say no to ass crack. Click here for full story

6 ▬ Someone Actually Died While Planking in 2011



Planking is a photo meme that caught on this year, after an Australian rugby player performed the move during a game. It is essentially, lying down in a public place as if you were a board--arms at your side, legs together and face down in the earth--and getting a picture taken of you doing it. The picture, of course, being the most important part in the age of "pics or it didn't happen."

The activity is as safe or as dangerous as you want it to be and 20-year-old Acton Beale wanted to go a little more extreme by planking on top of a 7-story building in Brisbane, Australia. Since he's on this list, you can guess how it turned out for him.

While attempting to plank on the balcony, Acton lost his footing and plummeted to his demise, landing on the ground below while doing something that, as explained to an alien race, would be inexcusably stupid.
Click here for full story

7 ▬ Woman is Set on Fire in an Elevator



In what must have been either a mistaken-identity incident or the assassination of the most violent, horrible and dangerous elderly woman (formerly) alive, 64-year-old Doris Gillespie had just returned home from grocery shopping and stepping out of the elevator onto her floor of the apartment building when a man wearing a black jacket and surgical gloves accosted her in the strangest, most brutal way.

The man sprayed her face and body with an accelerent before setting her aflame and tossing a Molotov cocktail into the elevator with her.

Neighbors shortly thereafter reported a fire, but did not know Doris was burning to death in the elevator.

The man was never caught. Click here for full story.

8 ▬ Man Dies Exterminating 60,000 Bees



60,000 bees.

The House had been in the family for 90 years, spanning four generations and entering into a fifth.

Rufus Mason built the two-story Florida home back in 1920, when most of the area was still swampland. Over the course of time, the home began to deteriorate. But that didn't stop Rufus's great-grandson Donald, 49, from at least attempting to keep up with it and raising his family in the home he grew up in, patching it up as he could... until November of 2011 when he encountered a swarm of bees nesting in his home.

But this was no ordinary swarm. While attempting to clear them out with fogspray, he took a fall and hit his head, rendering him unconscious. His daughter found him later that evening, covered head-to-toe in bees.

When the police arrived, they claimed the walls "seemed alive with the sound of buzzing". Paramedics were unable to move the body until bee control experts came in and removed the insects.

Sixty-thousand bees were estimated to have resided in the home. Click here for full story.

9 ▬ Woman Found Dead in Cubicle, a Day Later

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOxGG6vpafo[/ame]

There has to be an appropriate Dilbert comic for this.

When Rebecca Wells, an auditor for the Department of Internal Services, was found dead at her cubicle in an office building at 9150 Imperial Highway in Downey, it wasn't because her co-workers noticed her and immediately called the paramedics.

She had been dead for over 24 hours when her body was found, dead and hunched over at her desk.

She normally worked in East Los Angeles, but was conducting an audit in the Downey area.

Her body went unnoticed for a day; she was working on the second floor of the office building in a row of cubicles and she was found by a security guard on Saturday, February 12, last seen alive the previous day at 5 PM after a staff meeting.

Investigators have not yet pinpointed the cause of death, but no foul play is suspected; except for the whole ignoring a dead coworker thing.

10 ▬ Train-Jumping Couple Buried Alive by Coal



Christopher Artez and Medeana Hendershot had a history of train jumping and traveling the country without much planning. Over the course of several months they spent time in Georgia, Illinois, Tennessee and were en route to Florida for the winter when they met their eventual end.

The train stopped at a power plant in Florida when a railcar dropped its cargo of coal into the waiting car. It is unknown if Artez and Hendershot were in the waiting car and crushed under the coal or if they were in the rail car and dropped with the coal into the waiting car. What is known is that Hendershot died from the blunt trauma of the coal while Artez died of asphyxiation -- buried alive with his life partner.

Although he died buried under a bunch of hard black coal taken out of the earth, Christopher's mother said "If he had to die so young, at least he died at a moment where he was on top of the world..." Click here for full story