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Thread: Perils of Talking to Non CrossFitters...

  1. #1
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    Default Perils of Talking to Non CrossFitters...

    Ripped from a blog www.forgingelitesarcasm.com



    Perils of Talking to Non-CrossFitters

    Posted on August 12, 2011 by Drywall


    Face it. We’re like this, but in tackier clothing.
    CrossFitters love talking about CrossFit. All the fucking time. Arguably more than they like doing CrossFit. Problem is, not everyone CrossFits, so you got all these non-CrossFitt’in motherfuckers ruining your perfectly good endorphin buzz.
    The result? Disaster. Every goddamn time.
    Loosely Based on a Somewhat True Story
    Co-worker on a Friday Afternoon
    Next Cube Over: Dude, let’s hit happy hour and get fucking shit-faced.
    Drywall: Eh, I got something to do after work. Meet up later?
    Next Cube Over: Bullshit. You already said you didn’t have any plans for the weekend. You’re going to CrossFit before you go out, aren’t you?
    Drywall: Well, yeah…
    Next Cube Over: Dork.
    That went well.

    Waitress at the Bar
    Carla Tortelli: You guys on a softball team? We sponsor people for leagues.
    Drywall: No, we just came from CrossFit.
    Carla Tortelli: What is that? Never heard of it.
    Drywall: Well, we just work out together.
    Carla Tortelli: Ha, you’re funny. But seriously, what do you guys do?
    I decided to pass on the broad time and modal domain explanation.
    Phone Call from Mom
    Mom: Hey, what are you up to?
    Drywall: Not much, just got home from CrossFit…
    Mom: Oh you’re still working out! That’s great. Does this help you get ready for sports?
    Drywall: Well, I really don’t play sports anymore since I started CrossFit. But they have their own competitions, so I guess that’s something…
    Mom: Oh really? I’d loooove to come and watch sometime!
    Goddamn it.
    Drinking Buddy at the Bar
    Drank’in Bro: Dude this drank’in thing is awesome but I’m getting fat as shit. I gotta lose a few pounds.
    Drywall: Want to try out CrossFit?
    Drank’in Bro: Is that like working out?
    Drywall: Yeah.
    Drank’in Bro: Fuck you.
    Could have gone worse.
    NFL Friend
    Legit Athlete: Heard you were in LA, what were you doing out there?
    Drywall: You know my blog I was telling you about? I was doing some shit for the CrossFit Games.
    Legit Athlete: Wait that’s a real thing? I thought you were just making shit up. People actually go watch other people work out?
    Drywall: Yeah.
    Legit Athlete: You went?
    Drywall: Yeah.
    Legit Athlete: You get paid a lot?
    Drywall: No.
    Legit Athlete: Douche.
    Lesson learned: if you do CrossFit, just shut the fuck up. No one cares.
    “Sadly, I have nothing else to talk about anymore… *sob*”
    -Drywall

  2. #2
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    The ass I get to watch sweat and move around makes it all worth it though......even the wife will look at me after a workout and say, damn, did you see that chick....why yes honey, I did...several times....
    Founding Member of the Short Mo' Sea Pro Posse

    Fuck Purdue

  3. #3
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    Told ya'll this was a cult.

    Hell someone in conversation yesterday, (completely unrelated to SCDucks) someone called it Cult Fit.
    "Rivers and the inhabitants of the watery elements are for wise men to contemplate and for fools to pass by without consideration" -Izaak Walton

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigBrother View Post
    Cult Fit.

    That is actually probably the funniest thing I've ever heard it called!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Tater View Post
    Your heart ain't like your balls, ya only got one...
    All you need is a body built for discipline and a mind that can justify so much apparent self-abuse.

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    Meanwhile, a gaggle of humorless sons of bitches are trying to tell me how I should "rest" in another thread and they're getting all sanctimoneous about it. Who'd a figured that'd ever happen in here, right?

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigBrother View Post
    Told ya'll this was a cult.

    Hell someone in conversation yesterday, (completely unrelated to SCDucks) someone called it Cult Fit.

    BigBrother beat me to it.

    Also known as Adulterers Are Us.

  7. #7
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    You should rest Fish - just do 1/2 Murph today.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tater View Post
    Your heart ain't like your balls, ya only got one...
    All you need is a body built for discipline and a mind that can justify so much apparent self-abuse.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by duckduckdog View Post
    You should rest Fish - just do 1/2 Murph today.
    Half Murph. That sounds like a plan. That would certainly work the soreness out.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fish View Post
    Meanwhile, a gaggle of humorless sons of bitches are trying to tell me how I should "rest" in another thread and they're getting all sanctimoneous about it. Who'd a figured that'd ever happen in here, right?
    Quit bitching about your shoulder, Nancy, and we'll quit acting like we care.

    [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eXIOK2vOhM[/ame]

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mars Bluff View Post
    Only thing we need to be wearing in this country are ass whippings & condoms. That'll clear up half our issues.

  11. #11
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    For the love of....

    Let me give you a couple of pro-tips, Mary.

    Stop worrying about shit that doesn't concern you.

    Make sure you're taking plenty of naps so your vagina will be well rested. That way you'll be nice and fresh to work those curls.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fish View Post

    Meanwhile, a gaggle of humorless sons of bitches are trying to tell me how I should "rest" in another thread and they're getting all sanctimoneous about it.Who'd a figured that'd ever happen in here, right?
    You mean outside of the Retriever Forum, right?

  13. #13
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    Yeah, but these bitches follow me around like fucking groupies. Problem is, they don't suck dick like good groupies should.

    I do love this forum.

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