Good read, I have raised five great kids that luckily i didn't have a lot of those issues with. I do know what friends and family members have gone through this problem. I too am tired of hearing "that's what kids do nowadays", that's bullcrap!
I don’t disagree with such that’s been said above.
BUT, my son is a college freshman. First week of school we are having our daily call with him. At the end of the call he told us he just wanted to thank us for allowing him, as a junior and senior in high school, to drink some and get to understand how he handles alcohol.
He said this because he had spent the previous night tending to another freshman that showed up at college having never touched alcohol and decided Red Bull and vodka tasted good.
Sometimes it just as reckless/dangerous to be overly strict with your kid when you have your thumb on them because it can lead to the pendulum swinging too far in the other direction when they get out from under your thumb
Our kids have/had (one is 22 now) Chinese fake IDs. They also have Uber and Lyft on their phone linked to my credit card. Knock wood, but it seems our kids and the crowds they hang out with, don’t view drinking and driving as an option. It’s been hammered into their skulls and daddy pays for Uber no questions asks so there is no excuse
- "My dad used to tell me that nothing good happens when you take your AR to an out of town riot. Or maybe it was that nothing good happens after 1:00 in the morning. I can't remember any more." - Wob
- "Any thought of romance went out the window when I saw the Ohio plates" - Squirrel Master
Its AGAINST THE LAW
Ugh. Stupid people piss me off.
Here we goooo….
Btw, you won't hear me apologize often, so you may want to put that in your sigfile. ~Mergie
Heck, how we raise our kids and educate them is the moral of this story.
When they leave the home, we hope we instilled the foundation of sound judgment.
I also hope they have fun responsibly.
We cannot hold their hands. But they need to figure it out.
We are all flawed and make mistakes.
Young adults especially college students will drink, some excessively....that will never change.
But, we all did it too (most of us) one time or more.
This is needs to posted every where
I PREACH to these kids in our teen driving class about consequences of it (as does my employee) Way too many examples of newspaper clippings hanging in my drivers ed room as well as real life stories
They have no clue how quickly their life can be altered forever , I use the example of the young bride killed at FB in her wedding dress
Sad thing is you always get that one kid that will tell you what others are doing
Wife and I had plenty of friends that would buy alcohol for their kids and would justify it by saying "well if they gonna drink at least I know where they are and not on the road" I understand that but to us it basically meant parents were ok with it and trust me they were still on the road .(one of those friends lost a teenager to fatal wreck and under influence of alcohol )
Please parents TALK TO YOUR KIDS , they all gonna do things they should not but at least let them know no matter what to call you to get them home
I think the big issue is also those parents that stick their head in the sand and think it does not happen or go on , honestly those seem to be the kids that drink the most
As we tell our kids in class "It is more fun to be a teenager than to have a teenager " I tell them when they figure it out it is too late , they have teenagers themselves
I can understand that
Heck fake ID's are still a thing DAMN
First to admit I did some very stupid things as teenager and college age and damn lucky to be here ..
Last edited by tprice; 10-14-2024 at 09:47 AM.
My point being that the stance I parent SHOULD take is that it is against the law. We can have the myriad of "other" discussions later. I am not, and will not, be a parent that says its good my kids had experience with alcohol before it was legal although I am a realist.
Obey the law of the land.
Ugh. Stupid people piss me off.
and if i have to hear "Toof---kids are doing that these days" I might scream.
church wanted my kids in sex ed in 5th grade. "Grow kids God's way." Friends joined. Said I was an idiot not to because "5th graders are making babies" TO HELL THEY ARE! NOT IN MY HOUSE! Wife and I chose NOT to attend sex ed in 5th grade, ESPECIALLY because it was cloaked "under God." I was ashamed my church offered it. Talk to your kids. Gbelly's point is gonna be lost here if we dont watch out. Dont give in to today's society. Talk to your kids.
Ugh. Stupid people piss me off.
I was immune to peer pressure in high school and both of my brothers were drunks. This was not the result of bad parenting. We had great parents and a blessed childhood. They chose drinking over life, and you shouldn't waste a moment trying to make sense of it. One died in 2019 of liver failure and the other is living in a nursing home with advanced cirrhosis and brain damage.
I have watched dozens of people kill themselves with alcohol and heroine. Once that gets rolling, it's very difficult to stop it. I saw a good man break himself trying to get a child cleaned up only to bury him days after he returned from rehab.
If I can add anything, it is simply this. We're going to lose a few every year regardless of good parenting, best intentions, and heroic effort. As parents, all you can do is try to get it into their heads as early as possible that it'll kill them. The problem, of course, is that some will listen, and some won't. The one's who won't listen will torture their parents as they kill themselves.
Last edited by Fish; 10-14-2024 at 11:47 AM.
i hear ya loud and clear, Fish.
parenting aint easy. there's not a book for it (that works for every kid). All i know is that I dont want to live knowing i DIDNT tell my kids these things. You know my opinion on cell phones. Can you imagine texting your kid while they were driving and they had a bad wreck? I dont want to live with that. I also want my kids to know the law, what happens if they break it, and then all the myriad of issues that come with starting to drink at age 16. Its a bad row to hoe.
Ugh. Stupid people piss me off.
Damn I hate to agree with Toof but he is spot on. My MOST IMPORTANT job on earth is to raise good children. I did a lot of stupid shit when I was younger, I am blessed to still be here. As I have matured, I start to wonder what the fascination is with alcohol, maybe its because it is a forbidden fruit. Either way, very little good comes from its consumption and many do not know how to moderate.
cut\'em
I think you can let yourself off the hook, 2oof. You've done a fine job.
It's an "adult" activity. Same with smoking, cell phones and sex. Kids wanting to be grown before they're grown so they want to do all the things grown ups do. Plus alcohol is everywhere. It's normalized in pop culture from music, movies, tv etc. Why wouldn't they want to drink and do all that other stuff? Everyone they're watching and being influenced by is drinking and showing no negative consequences from it, only positives. You can talk to them but if they have that phone in their hand they are trying to emulate someone other than their parents. And that someone is probably drinking and showing it on the reg.
Gbelly I agree with the OP. I do however have an issue with the age being 21 to drink a beer , but 18 to be sent into combat.
Maybe it’s just me but that doesn’t jibe.
i dont know how to highlight the part like you did....but I think Gbelly pointed out that "peer pressure" beast. Its not always from peers. Now its from "influencers." I'd take her phone away for a month....but my point is that kids have lots of "influencers" that "pressure" them. again, I think peer pressure is bullshit but a teenager needs to know their are limits to what is OK to her parents. Getting drunk is not OK at this stage.
Action---consequence---behavior modification---happy well adjusted kid. (no matter what "kids are doing these days")
and thanks FISH. I was blessed with good kids and a strong wife. Her way of being sure rubbed off on them in a positive way. For those that have not met my wonderful bridge, she's the yin to my yang. She is calm and grounded. I am not.
Ugh. Stupid people piss me off.
No one wants to talk about your yang
Bookmarks