Dad Jokes

[Tater]

https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/m6...2VqX5QGALc.jpg

[BigBrother]

With Jazz hands even.

[Cwaysvt]

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft office, I will find you.

You have my Word.

[turbo]

I just wanna know what, in the actual fuck, are "jazz hands"?

[BigBrother]

I just wanna know what, in the actual fuck, are "jazz hands"?

https://lmgtfy.app/?q=what+are+jazz+hands

[Cwaysvt]

https://c.tenor.com/uCznFFHmuqAAAAAC...ice-comedy.gif

[GMAC]

Did you hear about the guy that fell into the lens grinding machine?

He made a spectacle of himself.

[Cwaysvt]

I’ve been reading a horror novel in braille and I just know something bad is about to happen.

I can feel it.

[rp]

So, we have taken in a Britney that lived most of his life in a kennel. He is not sure about anything. Scared shitless at first. Didn't know what canned food was or what to do with it.....times have changed. He heads straight for the kitchen now. And he is on heart worm medicine so we have to keep him calm.

Anyway, he enjoys people now. Gets damn right excited any time we let him near the living room or kitchen

After supper last night and playing with a toy for a bit, youngest son offered him a slice of ham and a treat. Darn dog got all excited. Young son said "He has a red rocket." I asked what was a red rocket honestly thinking it was another toy. My wife and son have given me shit over that. Listen, this is my first male dog. I have never seen something so excited by anything other than sex that would get a red rocket.

I am an old dad.

[thunderchicken]

When a bug would hit the windshield and splatter my dad would either say “that took a lot of guts” or “I bet he doesn’t have the guts to do that again”

[cusportsman]

I’m writing a book on reverse psychology, please don’t buy it.

I told my wife she needs to embrace her mistakes, so she gave me a hug.

[Tater]

How can you tell a dad joke from any other?

It’s apparent.

[cusportsman]

My wife asked if I’ve seen the dog bowl, I said I never knew he did.

[Tater]

Why did the pirate walk the plank?

Because his dog was left ashore.

[Duck cutter]

92D64F67-349D-4A4C-8FFE-980462E8A89A.jpeg

[Tater]

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

[Cwaysvt]

I think CUsportsman is using the same dad-a-base as I am for jokes.

[Tha Dick]

When a bug would hit the windshield and splatter my dad would either say “that took a lot of guts” or “I bet he doesn’t have the guts to do that again”

My dad would always say

“You know what was the first thing to come to his mind? The windshield.”

“You know what the last thing to come to his mind? His ass.”

[BigBrother]

So, we have taken in a Britney that lived most of his life in a kennel. He is not sure about anything. Scared shitless at first. Didn't know what canned food was or what to do with it.....times have changed. He heads straight for the kitchen now. And he is on heart worm medicine so we have to keep him calm.

Anyway, he enjoys people now. Gets damn right excited any time we let him near the living room or kitchen

After supper last night and playing with a toy for a bit, youngest son offered him a slice of ham and a treat. Darn dog got all excited. Young son said "He has a red rocket." I asked what was a red rocket honestly thinking it was another toy. My wife and son have given me shit over that. Listen, this is my first male dog. I have never seen something so excited by anything other than sex that would get a red rocket.

I am an old dad.

Somehow this makes perfect sense.

[BigBrother]

I think CUsportsman is using the same dad-a-base as I am for jokes.

:golfclap: