Some Things Your Dad Told You

[Buck70]

If you are the smartest person in a room, find another room.

[BlackTom]

“That’s it now we’re cooking with grease”

“Want in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up faster”


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damn you stole mine!
want in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up the fastest

i said a #3 phillips not a #1 you dumbass

many more classics I wish I could remember. I’m sure once he’s gone I will like reading from a book

[TheVisorGuy]

Best part of you ran down your mamas leg

Colder than a well diggers ass

[Woodiewacker82]

“Don’t be a dick.”

[Drylok]

Always be aware of your surroundings.

This is exactly what I have been telling my kids. They are now young adults and I hope they keep that in mind.

[TheVisorGuy]

Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking competition

[DUCK BUSTER 68]

Son...don’t get your pussy and your paycheck in the same place

[Tater]

This business of making a living is mighty inconvenient.

[charlie horse]

"Eatin aint cheatin"

[BEAR]

“That’s as high as a giraffe’s ass.”

“The smartest idiot in a group of idiots, is still an idiot.”

“Always try to sit in a public place where you can see the room, not a wall.”

“If it wasn’t for laws and you and your sisters, I’d have killed him long before old age could.”

“Where’s my steering wheel grenade launcher button when I need it?”-anytime we were going to the beach via 378 and get in a line of traffic behind one slow poke.

[Coastal Woodie]

"Don't throw that away I can fix it"

"I don't have time to rest, there's always work that can be done."

"Because I have two sons but only one daughter."

"It's colder than a witches titty outside."

"The only reason he's alive is I hated to kill him in front of you." That was a lot for 3 kids to comprehend after we watched him stick a pistol to a guy's forehead.

[coonsqualler01]

"Why would I get up before daylight to hunt a bird that is not scared of cars?"
"It takes a lifetime to build a reputation and a few seconds to tear it down."
"There is nothing like it except more of it."
"I would rather hear a dog bark than a pretty girl fart."

[FEETDOWN]

“You do that again and I’m gonna go buy stuff to beat you with.”


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[santee11]

Never marry a woman that likes to drink and screw more than you do because she will be out drinking and screwing without you.

[SCWOODROW]

Don’t do as I do, do as I say do!

[Duck cutter]

"The only reason he's alive is I hated to kill him in front of you." That was a lot for 3 kids to comprehend after we watched him stick a pistol to a guy's forehead.

Sounds like there’s a story that needs to be heard here

[Two Barrels]

“Do not ask the question if you aren’t ready for the answer. You might not like the answer”

[FEETDOWN]

Never marry a woman that likes to drink and screw more than you do because she will be out drinking and screwing without you.

Along these lines, he also told me “You can’t turn a whore into a housewife”


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[abarill]

“Don’t step on the toes today that are attached to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow”

“You shouldn’t wrestle in the mud with a pig. You’ll both end up dirty and the pig will enjoy it”

“Don’t go out of your way to screw someone over. Sit back and watch- they’ll fuck up soon enough on their own.”

“Some days you get the bear, some days the bear gets you”

“Blood in the belly is like fire on a ship- it’s something you run TOWARDS”

“There’s no vessel outside of the chest that can’t be occluded with digital pressure”

[coonsqualler01]

"Blood runs thicker than water".
"Fool them off on does and hogs, they will never understand big bucks here".