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Thread: All possible Hypotheticals

  1. #41
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    here is an issue i saw in the turkey contest...

    if the measurement of said horny headed animals spread is 14 inches, can i round that up to 20 inches? and if his longest tine is only 5 inches, can i measure from the bottom of the main beam and make it 8?

    also, if he has two nubs on the ends and i want to make them measure 1", but they only measure a quater inch, can i use the centimeter side of the tape and show them as 2.6 inches?

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glenn View Post
    What if I enter one that was killed in Pelzer?
    Provided you didn't kill it my Aunt's farm, that would be ok. If not, she feeds them biscuits so they wouldn't be paleo.
    "The real reason fish jump - they don't have a middle finger!"

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glenn View Post
    What if I enter one that was killed in Pelzer?
    damn it...choked on my tea!!!
    Founding Member of the Short Mo' Sea Pro Posse

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  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by dixiedeerslaya View Post
    here is an issue i saw in the turkey contest...

    if the measurement of said horny headed animals spread is 14 inches, can i round that up to 20 inches? and if his longest tine is only 5 inches, can i measure from the bottom of the main beam and make it 8?

    also, if he has two nubs on the ends and i want to make them measure 1", but they only measure a quater inch, can i use the centimeter side of the tape and show them as 2.6 inches?

    This, people, is how you win a piddly shit deer contest.
    "The real reason fish jump - they don't have a middle finger!"

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by boondoggle View Post
    This, people, is how you win a piddly shit deer contest.
    My favorite was/is the weight. That picture of the scales never shows the hand pulling down just a grunt harder.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by boondoggle View Post
    Originally Posted by Saltydog235
    I'm guessing if you plan on taking one of those rain-ferst head shrinkers with you and you happened to kill one with poison frog darts, it would be best to take measurement afore he got aholt of it to ply his trade.

    Head shrinker didn't hit the paypal link in time. Therefore, poison dart deer would not qualify and you will be dead once he finds out.

    And who gets credit if you're hunting with a bunch of them spear chunkin' Zulu warriors like on the Ute-toob's.

    Zulus did make the payment deadline and paid in Zimbabwe Dollars. Since the exchange rate is Zim$10,000,000.00 = $1.00, it cost us $3.52 in paypal feels to refund $0.000006. Accordingly, they are not within the contestant pool.

    .
    Well, shit. Tha's what you get when you start dependin' on folks from third world countries. Ooogah Boogah and Kunta said they was paid up.
    Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal? I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.


    You might take out a dozen before they drag you from your home and skull fuck you to death. Marsh Chicken 6/21/2013

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glenn View Post
    My favorite was/is the weight. That picture of the scales never shows the hand pulling down just a grunt harder.
    I always figured everyone did it so it evened out. I don't make the rules but just try to enforce them... and let Tater point out the holes in them.
    "The real reason fish jump - they don't have a middle finger!"

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glenn View Post
    My favorite was/is the weight. That picture of the scales never shows the hand pulling down just a grunt harder.
    "Ben, you're short, get down there and holt onto the legs, they can't see you in the picture"

    If I hear "that deer is 150 easy", I'm going to poke my eyes out. Half the guys on this site have told some chick their dick is 12" long and honestly believed it.
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  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by dixiedeerslaya View Post
    what if i shoot one with the rifle, and then shoot him in his entry hole with a rage? The rage is like throwing an axe through an animal.... Would that be archery kill? What if i take the dead deer and tie him up in a tree till he gets stiff and then make him walk infront of my trail camera? Boom yow
    bwhahahahahahahhaa!
    "I do not hunt turkeys because I want to, I hunt them because I have to. I would really rather not do it, but I am helpless in the grip of my compulsion"
    - Tom Kelly, Tenth Legion, 1973

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glenn View Post
    My favorite was/is the weight. That picture of the scales never shows the hand pulling down just a grunt harder.

    yea.... and showing just the end of the tape on the end of the beard, sittin at 11 inches.... you know damn well them fuckers didnt start on the zero end of the tape!!!
    Last edited by dixiedeerslaya; 08-16-2012 at 03:22 PM.

  11. #51
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    What if someone is attacking a castle with a crossbow and a buck runs out and he gets shot by said attacker with said crossbow?

  12. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tater View Post
    What if someone is attacking a castle with a crossbow and a buck runs out and he gets shot by said attacker with said crossbow?
    Fail. This is 'murka. We ain't got no castles so any deer killed in defense or attackage of said castle would have to be a red stag and would therefore be ineligible for entry into said contest.

    Next.

  13. #53
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    What if Jab launches an archery barrage on Highstrung's Island and it kills a buck with a cape?
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  14. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tater View Post
    What if someone is attacking a castle with a crossbow and a buck runs out and he gets shot by said attacker with said crossbow?

    Wouldn't you have to get CSI involved to run their lasers and cool tool kit shit to determine if the arrah came from the attacker or from the castle. There's always bunches of arrahs coming when you storm a castle. And how would you tell if the buck was hit by the boiling tar?
    Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal? I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.


    You might take out a dozen before they drag you from your home and skull fuck you to death. Marsh Chicken 6/21/2013

  15. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glenn View Post
    Fail. This is 'murka. We ain't got no castles so any deer killed in defense or attackage of said castle would have to be a red stag and would therefore be ineligible for entry into said contest.

    Next.
    There's a castle in pelzer.

  16. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by benman View Post
    What if Jab launches an archery barrage on Highstrung's Island and it kills a buck with a cape?
    Fail. Again. SC deer only. Unless he has an island in Pelzer then this doesn't apply.

  17. #57
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    I don't need my name in the marquee lights....

  18. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by dixiedeerslaya View Post
    here is an issue i saw in the turkey contest...

    if the measurement of said horny headed animals spread is 14 inches, can i round that up to 20 inches? and if his longest tine is only 5 inches, can i measure from the bottom of the main beam and make it 8?

    also, if he has two nubs on the ends and i want to make them measure 1", but they only measure a quater inch, can i use the centimeter side of the tape and show them as 2.6 inches?


    Now THAT is funny!!

  19. #59
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    I don't need my name in the marquee lights....

  20. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simple Man View Post
    Ahem.. I will have my Island.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...040201939.html

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