I miss the days when you could take a man's word and a handshake.

I do not miss the days of Rome when men held each others balls when they made a deal. I don't know about Romans but if any man tries to touch my balls there's gonna be a hell of a fight.

In ancient Rome, two men taking an oath of allegiance held each other's testicles, and men held their own testicles as a sign of truthfulness while bearing witness in a public forum. The Romans found a word to describe this practice - "testify" from the Latin word "testicle."
Now I'm gonna see that awful visual every time the preacher asks someone to testify. If someone does testify in church and doesn't hold their balls while doing so does that mean they are lying? Now I'm confused.