Just how bad will it hurt.....

[Simple Man]

So I came home today from work to a wife and daughter that were completely beside themselves. My daughter was literally sitting up on our butcher block in the kitchen swearing that she wouldn't let her feet touch the floor and my wife wasn't much better.

It turns out that when my wife went to retrieve a box from under our bed that has her wrapping paper in it, there was some chewed up paper and a skin from a black snake. My son practically dove into the box to see if there was a snake still in it, but the women were having none of it. We've not had problems with vermin around here, so I'm most certain that it was from last year when we had our stuff in storage, but she's not buying it.

Not being scared of my wife like some of y'all are, I aim to put a rubber snake back in there in a few days - right after all this has had a little time to simmer down.

You gotta live a little 'fore you die, right???

[murraywader]

Oh dear...

[NUTZ]

Prayers sent.

[Tater]

This ain't gonna end well my short friend

[Simple Man]

[Slaya]

You're a wuss if you don't figure out how to record the events as they unfold.

[quackersncheez]

You need to record that.

[trentsmith]

Yea it ain't gonna end fell.

[FHF]

great idea, but be prepared for some serious consequences.....

[BigBrother]

I.

Love.

It.

I used to buy those little plastic cockroaches from the dollar store....my roommate played TE for Carolina back when they could still live off campus, and ate a ton of peanut butter sandwiches. He would go through a loaf every two days, and HATED roaches.

I would hear him at 3 am in the morning bellowing "MOTHERFUCKER!!!".

I guess the point of that story is that perhaps the container under the bed aint the place to put your toy snake.

May I suggest somewhere she would never suspect a snake? The warm, inviting, safe, and sterile place that is the kitchen? Preferably something over head in a cabinet. You can utilize her "superior organizing skills" to help you locate something you think you lost....you know, so you can be there for the unveil.

I am just thinking out loud. Please dont implicate me in this crime, but maybe film the event for my benefit?

[Simple Man]

Sounds like some sort of challenge....

[Simple Man]

And I'll be keeping the helmet - at least 'til this is over....

[Glenn]

Tie some fishin' line to it and then to a door or some other thing she has to "open" so when she does that thing come flyin'/slitherin' out.

Pro tip, prayers sent and what's a good grieving period before I call on her? We'll put your picher face down. I swear.

[quackersncheez]

Tie some fishin' line to it and then to a door or some other thing she has to "open" so when she does that thing come flyin'/slitherin' out.

This is what I was thinking.

[ccleroy]

Tie some fishin' line to it and then to a door or some other thing she has to "open" so when she does that thing come flyin'/slitherin' out.

Pro tip, prayers sent and what's a good grieving period before I call on her? We'll put your picher face down. I swear.

This man right here gets it.......

[DEERSTLKR]

Can I have your guns and decoys?

[NUTZ]

Video or it didn't happen.

[Stubby]

If you do go with the snake in the kitchen thing, be sure to have multiple view points to mold together for a great video. Hidden camera here, go-pro snake cam there. The close-up of her opening the cabinet would be the money maker.

[Tater]

Yea it ain't gonna end fell.

Well, in my freudian typo's defense, it will end with a felling.......she gon' chop him off at the knees.

[BCR3]

Prayers sent ! You are a brave man buddy. I'd at least wait til after Christmas and I wouldn't plan on getting any for a while.